| Forty years of feminism – but women still do most of the housework
Brace yourself for the most maritally divisive piece of news you'll hear all week: married women do more housework than their husbands. Yes, there are gender differences, but there are also as many differences between those of the same gender. Above and beyond gender - we are all human beings. I ,primarily, identify as a human being. We all tend to automatically identify very strongly with our gender, because it is one of the obvious differences between people, and because in traditional societies House work is massively overated, I mean why do it? Provided you keep the kitchen and bathroom reasonably clean then the rest can wait until the imminent arrival of visitors force you to tidy. So far no one has died or disowned me due to dust, piles of books or a light smattering of dog hairs. This is worthless without information on whether the married women are in employment or not. When my wife and I were both in employment it was fair to say that I was the tidier of the two and did more cooking and cleaning - I wanted a higher standard. "My partner works and pays all the bills. "His opinion is he works, so why should he? I also work. "I think if I worked full-time he would still do diddly squat and it would be left for me. "I do 75% of housework. He's ace and I love him to bits. Hailee Anne Henderson, mother of two, on Netmums "Not mentioned in the research is the fact that women have a much higher expectation of quality in terms of cleaning, and household chores. Things like loading the dishwasher in a certain way, or using a specific cleaner for a specific purpose. In reality I think most modern working parents do tend to share as much of the housework and chores as possible. Strikes me that there's no respect if the housework isn't equally shared. couldn't agree more What a headline. Do they really need to spend money on research to state the bleedin' obvious?. Gareth Paul Davies, father of two from Carmarthenshire "I've started a star chart for my husband. So far his daughter has embarrassed him by saying she has more stars. Lisa Bowen on Netmums "I'm a housewife and I do everything – the cooking, cleaning, ironing, shopping, childcare. I'm sure all which will change if marriage and kids come into it. I bought a robot hoover to replace my wife, its a lot cheaper and so far more efficient. Money is the measure of value and worth in our society; and money equals power; equals choice; equals control. I would advise you on that there are as many men who consider their income their own, even if married with children and a home-making wife or partner, than there are men who naturally assume all money be put into a joint account. My partner and I both work full time. He was reasonable, although at first he offered to 'take ownership' of one task as 'his share' and I had to (again reasonably) point out that his share is of course half of everything that needs doing :). He is generally wonderful and, when he remembers, will do pretty much whatever is necessary. I do not think I would ever be prepared to give up work for any length of time if we had children, however. Basically we're a team - it has nothing to do with gender. But it is also true that washing the car may not be required for daily life - cooking, washing, food shopping, childcare etc are - and most households will not function if they are not done on a daily basis. doh sorry didn't process that carefully - he needs to tell her to get a job or like you suggested go into the garage for half the day but even if my partner didn't work i would expect them to do SOME stuff like clean up after themselves Well if you read what i wrote you'd see the kid is now in secondary school You are right in what you say - but housework, of the nature you describe, is unpaid, undervalued and unrewarded - and is often a thankless task. yea i mean just cos he works all day doesnt mean he can be a slob but when it comes to feminism women seem to want 50 50 only in things that suit them Some women. Someone after my own heart!!! yea, sorry, that's what I meant I'd say a study like this that doesn't control for what percentage of the married women in its data set stay at home while their husbands go out to work - has a serious gap in its method. Of course its difficult to capture all variables in any study but I think its fair to say that the stay at home / go out to work split is very important to a study on this topic. Presenting fairly raw data in a 'male bad / female good' format (I know its the Guardian) is getting a bit predictable - hence my thoughts on taking it out of that context and into a same sex partnership. Whoever does it, they should do it with pride and love. Don't start to sneer at it or just dismiss it as hoovering because of gender wars. Women - don't whinge, just calmly insist on it. Single working parents, male or female do it all, you'll be able but not fun. Surely it's our job to make sure that we respect ourselves and the people with whom we share our spaces. The survey only asks women how housework is shared between genders. As a general rule, if you ask people to compare how much work they do to others, they'll overstate their own contributions and downplay those of others. Its very likely women do more housework overall, but this is just a lazy way of finding out. Also, by only asking women about housework there's an implicit assumption that housework is only a women's issue, not something to bother asking men about. There will not be equality in the workplace and there will not be equality at home. Embrace diversity! Being a mum was not a full-time job in our household, it was strictly 8 to 6. And weekends? That was her time off from her stressful role as a mum. Still I could usually get through the housework in 2 hours on a Saturday morning and the children and I could then have a lovely weekend doing things together. I must be married to that 1 in 10 then. "I just can't see why it's essential to sit in a showhouse and if my girlfriend wants to run about all night dusting up imaginary dirt then it's up to her but I'm certainly not going to. The way I look at it, if you can't see the floor then it does not need cleaning. The problem, and the resentments that arise over housework and childcare, are down to the fact that women's work is still unpaid, or underpaid. What percentage of the married women in this study stay at home while their husbands go out to work? Does this even should be presented as a male/female thing? What if the study was carried out on Lesbian couples with adopted children? Obviously one of the women in each and every one of these lesbian partnerships can earn more than the other. So the woman with the greatest earning potential takes herself to work all day, dealing with the stress of that, THEN hands over the money she'd been paid for her labour to pay for the families;. Gas, Electric, food, holidays, cars, mortgage, clothes, shoes, phonebill, education, holidays, insurance, healthcare, etc etc every month. The one (female) with the greatest earning potential ends up paying all of the bills. Oh Statistics. Oh feminists. Is someone/anyone (outside the poor countries) permitted to feel a sense of purpose and joy in doing menial activities? Why is the chosen photo, speaking to the lives of another generation? Why justify sneering at the need to change the realities of today, with a picture from my grandparents era. Don't rubbish their existence and their relationships with the men of that era. My next door neighbours are a man who spends all day working in a garage and a woman who will be a stay at home mother. Are we really genetically programmed to be keeping the cave tidy while the man goes off to hunt? We're educated women, does housework really matter? Why do we care about it so much? Is it natural instinct or the root of inequality? Our kids see us arguing about it all of the time and what are we saying to them about equality for women?. "For a long time it has been unfashionable to say that some women want to remain at home, to the point where women are now asking what happened to choice? Well, choice is gone for most women now. Maybe we disempower men. Women just get so fed up having to nag to get their partner to wash up that they do it themselves. "Things are changing for women but men have yet to catch up. But a straw poll on Netmums tended to veer towards "lazy" as opposed to "intimidated" to describe the men in their lives. What it means for men within that type of space is yet to be understood, but I'd think they'd feel quite intimidated," she said. Now if later on If both partners go out to work then split they should split housework. I'm single, and male. Thats ten minutes a week wasted. I'm a married woman. He's a bloke, if that helps to even the world of domestic chores up a bit?. Penny Wilson, mother of two from West Sussex 91 comments, displaying first There will never be equality in the work place until there is equality at home. Employ someone if you can afford it. Contrast with my sister, whose house is so neat Forty years of feminism – but women still do most of the housework |
Sunday 11 March 2012
Forty years of feminism – but women still do most of the housework
